she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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