wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
did i just pee glitter
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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