she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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