we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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