So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
did i walk over a car last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
