I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
