I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
