the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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