Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
