trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
