Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
