apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
