he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
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I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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