i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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