I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
