a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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