forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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