life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
