This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
