dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
