i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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