just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
