Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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