You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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