thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
