I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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