unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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