Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
