Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
