Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
