I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
