if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
