Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
