took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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