I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
