I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
