My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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