if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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