Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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