hotel room ftw
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
