so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
