You work out of a Hotel?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
