Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
