can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
