you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
