don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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