Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
