he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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