Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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