Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so much tequila, so little girl.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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