mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
