my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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