The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also, beer. Big fan.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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