Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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