their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
