Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
