Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
