Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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