i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
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What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?