Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
