Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b
  Replies (42) Good night (1139) Bad night (2398)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/sjar
  Replies (25) Good night (689) Bad night (3155)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0
  Replies (42) Good night (986) Bad night (6418)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me. http://tfl.nu/hdf0
  Replies (56) Good night (646) Bad night (5620)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism. http://tfl.nu/fmul
  Replies (15) Good night (5835) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk
  Replies (29) Good night (4879) Bad night (1833)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted http://tfl.nu/yf6w
  Replies (18) Good night (4405) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer. http://tfl.nu/gu1j
  Replies (8) Good night (1061) Bad night (1798)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that. http://tfl.nu/4zse
  Replies (14) Good night (2893) Bad night (1663)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius http://tfl.nu/icdq
  Replies (11) Good night (1854) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne. http://tfl.nu/l5in
  Replies (13) Good night (1927) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  You're the salmon of the gays...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual (1-574): You're the salmon of the gays... http://tfl.nu/2l6t
  Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important. http://tfl.nu/v8rd
  Replies (8) Good night (674) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic http://tfl.nu/6axg
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole http://tfl.nu/jf5e
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (505)

Randomize