Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I regularly think about how cool your nickname is

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(818): I regularly think about how cool your nickname is http://tfl.nu/glb5

Replies (3) Good night (2311) Bad night (1396)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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(978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. http://tfl.nu/xtds

Replies (60) Good night (2872) Bad night (1135)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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(717): So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC. http://tfl.nu/vvcv

Replies (89) Good night (3156) Bad night (604)
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(515): View more from Iowa

If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.

(641): View more from Iowa

Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?

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(515): If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships. (641): Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump? http://tfl.nu/nlh0

Replies (18) Good night (3364) Bad night (680)
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(607): View more from New York

I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name

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(607): I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name http://tfl.nu/j3pw

Replies (13) Good night (6924) Bad night (1222)
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(613): View more from Ontario

So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

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(613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx

Replies (7) Good night (5582) Bad night (929)
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(631): View more from New York

It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

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(631): It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom. http://tfl.nu/aix7

Replies (48) Good night (6569) Bad night (1999)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i dont even know how to be here

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(973): i dont even know how to be here http://tfl.nu/mwy9

Replies (34) Good night (5687) Bad night (1665)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

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(240): Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday http://tfl.nu/1org

Replies (20) Good night (11914) Bad night (1382)
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(518): View more from New York

They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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(518): They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower http://tfl.nu/ye9z

Replies (10) Good night (3543) Bad night (1058)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.

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(505): I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles. http://tfl.nu/rqwc

Replies (4) Good night (1443) Bad night (889)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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(250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi

Replies (8) Good night (1703) Bad night (834)
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(319): View more from Iowa

So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party

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(319): So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party http://tfl.nu/6iyv

Replies (7) Good night (1265) Bad night (574)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I fill condoms, not promises.

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(812): I fill condoms, not promises. http://tfl.nu/fzpc

Replies (4) Good night (1570) Bad night (637)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content

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(201): I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content http://tfl.nu/y4zd

Replies (0) Good night (607) Bad night (377)

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