Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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