i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
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We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes