Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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