just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
