are you still at the devil's house?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
