Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
