Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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