no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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