Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
ok first of all what the fuck
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
