He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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