at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
