we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize