i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Panties = found
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
